Frustration
by Cats070911
Summary: When two people only talk with their eyes the path to love is frustrating... This was originally written as an in joke for a friend but I decided to share it - slowly, in line with the theme!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** The usual disclaimers re BBC and Elizabeth George apply.

This bit of nonsense was written as a series of 'in jokes' for a friend (they know who they are) who 'tumbled' me onto some 'inspiration'. It started as a one chapter piece I never intended to post but has grown into three and I thought 'why not?'. In deference to Tess 45's style of teasing, I will release it chapter by chapter.

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><p>Sergeant Havers was sitting impatiently in Tommy's lounge room while she waited for him to shower and pack. The two detectives had just returned from York and were heading to Eastbourne on the trail of a notorious conman suspected of murdering a rich widow. As usual her boss had lectured Barbara about something or other during the drive. She had been tired and had just grunted and thrown in enough vague objections to let the Inspector think she was paying attention. In fact she just liked to sit back and listen to the cadence of his Eton-educated baritone as he ran through his complex reasoning about the case, the force or the parlous state of the world. If she did not listen to Lynley's words and just concentrated on the ebb and flow of the rich sounds it was a form of music that she found sensual and soothing.<p>

For a man he took a lot longer in the bathroom than should be necessary. Barbara looked at her watch then began to pace around the room, partly to stop daydreaming about his voice. They were friends, close friends, and even though Barbara often wished it to be more she was aware of the limits of their relationship. _But there is no harm in fantasising occasionally._ She knew it was unrequited but underneath her admiration for him as a detective, her concern for him as a friend and her loyalty to him as his colleague there was an undeniable physical attraction that she tried hard to conceal. Exhaustion from long days and nights together on a case tended to lower Barbara's resistance and make her more sentimental and prone to irrational but pleasurable reveries about her boss caressing her or kissing her. Now was one of those times. _Focus, woman! A good night's sleep and I'll be fine._

The room was decorated with exquisite, and no doubt expensive, artworks some of which she knew he had borrowed from the estate at Howenstowe. Lord Asherton, as he was rightfully known in all the right circles, was a man of good taste to match his impeccable bloodlines. The leather bound books, the rich timbers and luxurious upholstery seemed in keeping with his taste and yet at odds with his life as a copper. The room felt impersonal and if it were not for the large flat screen television on the side wall opposite the window and the tell-tale hollow on one seat of his couch Barbara would assume it was set aside just for entertaining. The only intimate touches were four framed photographs neatly arranged underneath a large Turkish lamp on the table by the window. She wandered over to look at them more closely.

There was of course a photo of Helen in an ornate silver frame, the same one that for months after her death had been on his office desk. One day it had simply disappeared and Tommy had seemed to relax more, so Barbara had not asked any questions. The largest frame contained a photo of his family outside Howenstowe's front entrance. His mother looked much more carefree than Barbara remembered her and she was carrying a baby in her arms, presumably Tommy's brother Peter. A strong, serious and stockier version of Tommy stood next to her, one arm around her waist and the other on the shoulder of a young boy about ten or eleven. _So that's what you looked like as a boy! _Tommy was gangly but stood very upright and had a broad grin that made Barbara smile. He looked so innocent and untroubled. Judith was kneeling in front of her father but clearly distracted by a black labrador that was licking her hand. It was a lovely memento and she understood why he displayed it but it was also sad to look at it now and know the tragedy and pain that each of them had suffered later in their lives.

The smallest photo was in a simple gold frame and all Barbara could do was stare disbelievingly at it. She did not even remember it being taken. It was at Howenstowe on the night of his hideous engagement party. She and Tommy were standing together talking by the stairs. It was rare for her to wear a dress and that night she had been uncomfortable not only because of the company and the situation but also because she was wearing something almost alien to her. It was probably the only photograph they had ever been in together and Barbara was puzzled why Tommy displayed it. They looked just as she imagined they would, earnest and reliant on each other. Something about it made her feel sentimental. She would like a copy but if she asked he would know she had seen it. Besides wanting to display a photo of them together might give him the wrong impression about his importance to her. Well it would be the right impression but he did not need to know that.

Reluctantly she tore her eyes from that photograph to look at the last. It was one of a young Tommy standing shirtless by a tent with a large jug of beer in his hand. Barbara gasped at the sight of him. His face was unlined and his skin had the lustre of youthful energy and passion. He looked genuinely happy and Barbara picked up the timber frame to examine it more closely. The photograph made him look so familiar, which was a silly thing to think but something nagged at the back of her mind. He reminded her of someone else. Tommy's physique was not that of an athlete but he had strong looking shoulders and arms. His flawless skin stretched tightly over a sculptured chest and washboard stomach and she traced the outline of his torso with her fingernail down to where just a glimpse of his trousers clung to his hips. He was laughing and that unruly lock of hair that he had was hanging low over his left eye. His eyes sparkled with enthusiasm and promise and his head was slightly tilted in a way that told her he was very fond of the photographer. Perhaps Deborah had taken it and that was why it was special to him.

He was still attractive in a middle-aged way but if the photograph was accurate in his youth he had been gorgeous, if you can use that word for a man. He reminded her of a Greek god and she smiled thinking about him as Apollo, doomed to endless torment and destructive love. Tommy had the usual hallmarks to make him classically handsome. He was tall and dark with symmetrical features. She thought back to Billy Verger and his divine proportion. She had decided at the time Lynley would probably fit that fibber-whatever number. That case had not ended well but the way Tommy had held and comforted her at the pub was a memory that had sustained her through many lonely nights as she recalled the warmth of his body pressed to hers, the strength of his arms pulling her closer and that glorious feeling that he would never let her go.

She sighed at the memory and wished she had known him in his prime. All the girls would have swooned she was sure. At the Met she knew he had turned quite a few young policewomen's heads, and many of their bed sheets, and Barbara had to admit that when she first worked with him she had sometimes struggled to focus on the case. For her it was not the boyish face and the resonant voice; it was those deep, smouldering chestnut eyes that lit up when he smiled. It was fortunate that he had been such an arrogant, opinionated and argumentative partner so she could dislike him enough to work with him. Not that she ever would have fallen for his charms of course, he was not her type, not really. He was too perfect for her; too privileged and too good looking. Still, even though she had come to know him better and appreciated him for his mind and his personality, right now she was enjoying the way the sight of his young, hard body made her feel. It was almost torture looking at him. _He's so hot! _She shook the word and the thought from her head. She was being inappropriate and she definitely needed more sleep.

Tommy had been amused watching her pace the room. He had been just about to speak when she had stopped to look at the photographs. He wondered what she would think. He expected her to take a quick glance then move on but she had studied them thoughtfully and he was intrigued by her responses. She had barely noticed Helen, or had chosen not to notice her. He had expected her to focus on that and feel sad for him but he was glad in a way that Havers had also moved on from her death. He could see she was fascinated by him as a boy but struck by the poignancy of the family in happier times. He knew her so well he could almost read her thoughts.

He leant against the doorframe to observe her; waiting to see how should would react to the photo of them together. Tommy could tell from her shock that she did not know it existed. Peter had thrown it at him as he left, demanding to know how long he had been in love with her and what Helen thought about it. At the time Lynley had written it off as the typical bitterness of Peter but he had kept the photo safely tucked away in his drawer. He did not understand why until one day after the Thompson torture case he had retrieved it and framed it. Originally he had planned to give it to Barbara, to boost her confidence by showing her proof of how much he valued her judgement. Peter's camera had captured something in his eyes and the way he was looking at her so openly and trustingly that he thought would reassure her. Then he had noticed what Peter had seen and could not give it to her in case she saw it too. As he watched her he saw confusion. Tommy smiled at her innocence; she had no idea why the picture was there or how much he loved her.

Her reaction to the last picture sent an unexpected shiver of excitement through him. As she traced her finger down the photo he could almost feel her hand on his body stoking him the same way. It was erotic and he felt his heart begin to race. He had not known that Barbara had hidden from him the same desires he had kept secret from her. It shocked him and thrilled him in equal measure. He wanted to cross the room and sweep her into his arms in some classical romantic gesture but he was afraid he had read too much into the look on her face. "It was taken by Deborah at Oxford after we won the Regatta."

Barbara jumped then hastily put the frame back in position. "Sorry...I...you…it caught my eye." _Great, what a stupid thing to say!_ She could feel her face blush and she moved away from the table. "You looked familiar so I took a closer look."

Tommy raised his eyebrow quizzically and grinned at her. She could tell he knew what she had been doing with her finger and she blushed even more. She could literally feel the colour fill her cheeks. "I should hope I look '_familiar_'! It is not that long ago since it was taken and I still have all my own hair and teeth."

Her eyes ran over him quickly. He stood leaning against the doorframe, his left leg crossed over his right with the point of his shoe carving a small circle in the parquetry. He was dressed impeccably in his dark jeans and a crisply pressed blue shirt with a black belt and matching shoes. His jacket was draped casually over his arm. The shirt was tighter and unfastened one button more than normal and his hair was still damp with the lines from his comb clearly visible. She could see that gravity would triumph and that lock of hair would tumble into his face. She liked to watch him run his hand through his hair to re-tame it but was always a losing battle and she wished he would just leave it where it fell. Watching him stand there Barbara thought he would be more appropriate as a fashion model than a detective. The lens would love his sultry eyes and that broad grin that he was giving her. _Oh yes, you are still hot! _

"Yes, of course Sir, you're still very handsome," she replied without thinking. _Handsome? Did I actually tell him that? At least I didn't say hot, he'd hate that term. _She had been embarrassed at having been caught looking at his personal things but now she was mortified by what she had just said. Barbara wanted desperately to leave and start talking about the case as they drove; anything to take her mind off the unexpected, racy images that had formed in her mind. She was ashamed that she was demeaning their friendship with her wantonness.

The guilty pleasure in her eyes and her clumsy attempts to find a logical explanation only intensified his desire. She was running her eyes over him in a way he had never seen her do before. If she was looking for that toned body he once had she would be disappointed but in the brief glimpse he had into her heart he knew she had seen exactly what she had hoped to see. It was his turn to blush.

"Thank you Havers. From you that it quite a compliment." Tommy sounded surprised but amused and Barbara heard an edge to his voice that troubled her. _Surely not?_ She felt a new surge of blood flush to her face.

"Are you ready? I swear you take longer to bathe than Cleopatra!" She tried to sound as if she was taking him to task to avert any awkwardness but it came out as more of a jocular comment.

It was clear that she wanted to break the tension and he knew that was a very good idea or they might never make it to the south coast. He needed time to think about what had happened here. "Unlike someone I know, just because I did not run in here and up-end my dirty washing on the floor, shove three sets of anything from my drawers into my bag and then be in the bathroom only long enough to change and give my armpits a quick squirt of deodorant, it does not make me Cleopatra luxuriating in my bath!"

"I showered. I just don't waste water," she snapped, "and no one has time for a bath these days. Besides some of us can't afford the water bill"

Tommy shook his head and laughed. "Or the milk bill! Some things never change do they Havers?" He picked up his bag and still smiling ushered her to the door. "Come on then, Eastbourne awaits."


	2. Chapter 2

He had been looking for any clue that she might be interested in extending their friendship into something more for months but today was the first time he had seen the slightest hint and now he was unsure what to do. Barbara's expression as she had looked at his photo was going around and around in Tommy's head. Since they had left London he had tried hard to concentrate on the road but all he could think about was whether it had meant what he thought it meant; what he hoped it meant. _Maybe it was just a physiological reaction! _ He did not think himself arrogant in considering he had been a good looking young man and maybe she had simply responded to that. After all she had seen him without his shirt before and had not given any indication of anything but embarrassment. Then again why be embarrassed? He took a peek at her again. She was staring out the window but sensed him looking and turned towards him. He gripped the wheel harder and focused on the road.

Winston was already waiting for them at the large private hotel on the outskirts of town. The front was indistinguishable from all the redbrick townhouses of the area with their ubiquitous white timbered bay windows and terracotta roofs but it extended out the back with a nineteen seventies red brick extension that offended Tommy's sense of style with its rectangular blandness. In the last few miles he had hatched a little plan and he hoped the hotel could facilitate it.

"How was the trip down? Did you hit traffic? I was expecting you an hour ago."

"It seems my personal hygiene takes too long," Lynley replied as he walked past Nkata into the hotel.

Winston turned to Barbara. "What's that about?"

"Long story," she said and followed Lynley. Tommy had been unusually quiet on the drive down. At first she thought she had annoyed him but he seemed more amused and thoughtful than angry. She had tried hard not to look at him but each time she stole a glance he seemed to be looking at her. It was as if he had been waiting for her to say something important. She suspected he wanted an explanation for that thing with her finger and the photograph. _Not bloody likely!_

She approached the desk in time to hear Tommy trying to charm the young receptionist with his best smile and smooth way with words. "Yes, I understand how difficult that request is at short notice but I would _really _appreciate it." The receptionist blushed and smiled coyly and Barbara shook her head, smiling to herself. Whatever he wanted he would get, the poor girl was putty in his hands. Barbara's smile evaporated. The receptionist looked a little like Helen when they first met; perhaps he had asked her out. _Damned hide of the man when we have a case to solve._ Barbara marched up to the desk so he would know she was watching.

The receptionist handed Tommy two keys and he held one out towards Barbara. "I took the liberty of checking us both in," he said, "we're next to each other on the second floor." He turned back to the receptionist. "Thank you again for your help."

Winston came up to them. "Can we look at the crime scene tonight Sir? Then I can head back to London."

"Good idea," Lynley replied, "we should still have enough light until ten." Tommy was pleased for the distraction. It would be good to think about the case and not about his sergeant.

Barbara glanced at the clock on the wall behind his head to see it was shortly before six. "We haven't eaten since noon. Perhaps we could have a bite first?"

Winston and Tommy looked at each other and rolled their eyes. "Will you really starve if we wait an hour?" Tommy asked in exasperation. "Poor Winston wants to drive back to London."

"Alright!" Barbara grumbled, "but don't blame me if I faint."

Tommy turned to Nkata. "Give us ten minutes and we'll be ready."

He started to walk towards the stairs carrying his soft leather grip casually in one hand. Barbara trailed behind struggling to get her oversized backpack under control before it slipped off her shoulder. She was sliding along sideways rather than walking and when she reached the bottom step she collided with Tommy who had stopped to help. Her bag flew left and she fell backwards until Tommy's hand shot out and grabbed her coat. He pulled her upright so they were standing only inches apart. "Barbara! Are you all right?" he asked, the concern evident in his voice. His heart started to thump and he almost leant down and kissed her. _Oh Tommy now is _not _the time!_

"Yeah," she replied uncertainly, "I don't know what's wrong with me today." She tugged free from his hand and bent to pick up her bag. She had almost wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. _One bleeding photo and you turn to mush!_

"Well no harm done. Here let me take that," he said.

"I can manage thanks," she said angrily. She needed to snap out of this and fast. Her feelings were entirely improper and pretty soon he would notice she was behaving like a fawning adolescent, if he had not already realised.

"Suit yourself." Tommy turned and walked up the steps. At the top he paused until she had caught up to him. He was concerned she was overtired. They had been in York for three days and had been lucky to get more than three hours sleep each night but at least they had identified their suspect. As they walked along the short hallway to their rooms he said, "what about we share a quick bowl of chips then we can all go to Beachy Head? You and I can have a proper dinner when we get back."

There was no anger or bitterness in his voice which made Barbara feel even worse for barking at him. The poor man had done nothing wrong except be himself. "Yeah, good. Five minutes then?" she replied as she opened her door. "Sir?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry." She wanted him to know that she recognised she was being petulant and childish.

"I know." Tommy smiled at her in that way that he seemed to reserve for her. He looked so adorable and if she did not know better, loving. Barbara's legs started to weaken. She straightened and before either of them could say anything more she slipped into her room.

At first glance the room was unexceptional and uninspiring just like tens of others she had stayed in. The furniture was typically bland with dark wood trim that made the small room feel even tinier. She flopped unceremoniously onto the bed and instantly wished she could stay there. It was soft and cosseting and she was exhausted. Barbara dragged herself to her feet ready to go downstairs when she noticed the door on the side wall was ajar. She had seen the door as she entered but had assumed it was the connecting room for a family suite but as she pushed it open she started to laugh. It was an ensuite bathroom, a luxury not normally indulged on the Met budget, and its centrepiece was a large white enamelled bathtub. She knew instantly what Lynley's request had been. Havers walked over to it and ran her hand across the cool rim. _I might just use you tonight! _As she turned to leave she noticed a bottle on the vanity. It was a quart of milk with a note, not written in Lynley's hand but clearly dictated by him,

'_Some things should not be rushed,  
><em>_Cleopatra.'_

That was quick work! Barbara stared at the note then frowned, unsure whether she should laugh or take the bottle downstairs and crack it over his head. She chose to laugh.

Tommy had ordered and was chatting to Winston when Barbara entered the hotel's bar. She sat down just before two bowls of steaming hot chips were placed in front of them by a pimply-faced teenager who winked at Barbara. She stared at him and he quickly retreated much to Tommy's amusement. His laugh earned his own savage look from her. He ignored it and smiled as he said, "good idea Barbara. I was hungrier than I thought."

They ate silently until Winston excused himself to go to the bathroom. "I suppose you thought that was funny Sir but I actually intend to use it tonight."

Tommy grinned at her in a way that if she did not know him better she would think was suggestive. She hated how her imagination had started to infer hidden nuances into every look or statement. Before she had been caught looking at those pictures she would never have dared dream he could ever think of her as more than a friend but the way he had looked at her in that room was very different. If it were anyone but Tommy she would have sworn it was desire.

"I hope you do. We can't waste good milk."

"No, not that part." She could feel her face redden. It was becoming a habit every time he spoke to her.

Tommy stole a chip from the bowl she had unconsciously maneuvered to be in front of her. "Well I'll go and wash my hands then we can go."

Without the distraction of company Barbara munched on the last of her chips. There was a television behind the bar tuned to a music channel which provided background noise. It was counting down through '150 Gems of the 80's'. Winston returned and sat beside her as they waited. "They had some pretty awful music back then," he remarked.

"Yeah? Well I was there for the original versions thank you very much."

"With the hair and the shoulder pads?"

"No but probably only because I was too young." Barbara laughed with Winston then glanced up at the screen. "That's it, that's who he reminded me of today."

"Who?"

She pointed at the screen. "Him! He looks like the DI when he was young."

Winston chuckled. "Yeah, I can see it. The suit, the face and that hair."

The song finished but Barbara and Winston were still laughing when Tommy returned. "What's so funny?"

Barbara pointed at the television and Tommy looked up to see a female singer attempting some form of dirty dancing to a catchy but quickly forgettable tune. He frowned at Barbara wondering why this was funny.

"It was the song before," she said unable to contain her mirth, "I know now who you reminded me of."

Tommy felt his face redden. He was not sure he was going to like the comparison and he was certain he did not want Nkata to be a part of what had happened at his house. It meant that the moment had not been special to Barbara in the way it had been for him. He was far more devastated than he had a right to be. He wanted to crawl into a corner somewhere and lick his wounds but he felt obliged to play along in good humour. "Oh, let me guess, Edward Rochester?"

"Who?"

Barbara clearly had no idea who he was referring to and he immediately regretted saying it in front of Winston. It had been a joke but it had fallen very flat. "Jane Eyre."

Winston and Barbara looked at each other and shrugged. "Nah never heard of them. What group were they in?"

"It was a book," Tommy tried to explain but it would be impossible with Winston there to say that Rochester was supposedly the most romantic but tragic of Bronte's heroes. He smiled tightly. "Never mind. Who then?"

Winston blurted it out before Havers had a chance. "The main guy from Spandau Ballet." Winston laughed to himself. "It's 'Gold'!"

Barbara was obviously amused. "It's 'True'!"

Tommy looked from one to the other. Both were snickering and clearly neither of them thought he would know the reference to the band or their fluffy songs. _Do they really think no one has ever said that to me before? _He looked at Barbara and felt very disappointed. _Do you believe I am that detached from your precious 'real world'? I'll bet you don't even understand the horrendous origin of their name! _ He was angry, not by the reference but by the implication. Barbara was not interested in him; it was just some sort of game. Well he would give them what they expected. "I doubt I look anything like the principal dancer of some obscure German dance company! Now are we going to the crime scene or are we going to sit here all night thinking about what we looked like twenty years ago?" He looked pointedly at Barbara.

Winston laughed again but Barbara looked down at her feet. She had not meant to upset him and of course he would have no idea who she was talking about. The way he had looked at her and his joke with the bathtub had allowed her to hope that maybe, if all the stars and planets aligned, one day he might see her as more than his partner and friend. She had been tired and foolish. They were simply too different. "Sorry Sir, let's go."

It was as if he had suddenly let go of a balloon he had just inflated. Before his eyes he saw Barbara zig zag away from him and retreat back behind her fortified defences. _No! I'm sorry, don't do that. Don't you understand this is not a game for me? I love you, you wonderfully complex and annoying woman! _He was shocked by his own thoughts. This was definitely not a game. He had fallen for her ages ago but today he had come to believe something could actually come of it; at least he had thought it could. It seemed he had been wrong. "It's fine. I just want Winston to go back to London." He sounded gruffer than he intended and saw the puzzled look on their faces so added, "while it's still early so he can get onto the case first thing." Tommy turned and walked to the door before things became worse.

There was not much to see at the scene. An area near the cliff face was still roped off with the blue and white police barrier tape. Winston lifted it for Barbara who bent underneath and moved carefully towards the precipice. Tommy followed before Winston had a chance to change position. Winston made a face at his back resenting that he was always treated as the doorman. The grass was long and slippery and Barbara took great care not to fall in case she disappeared over the edge of the chalky cliff. Tommy was standing so close behind her that she could feel the heat coming off him. She started to move and felt his hand on her shoulder. It seemed to sear through her clothes and onto her skin. She closed her eyes and focused on the connection.

Tommy thought she was too close to the drop and with her clumsiness today he was worried she might fall. He put his hand gently on her shoulder and slowly increased the pressure. This would not seem odd but it gave him a chance to touch her. If Winston was not there Tommy knew he would have wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder and whispered into her ear that he loved her. In reality she would probably have tried to break free and would have plunged to her death but in his mind she would have spun around in his arms, kissed him passionately and then made love to him in the high grass. He shivered and guided her away from the edge.

"What makes people think it was murder?" she asked Winston. They were well back from the edge but Tommy still had his hand on her shoulder.

Nkata flipped open his notepad. "Margaret Hannon, aged forty six, reported missing by her daughter at ten p.m. on Tuesday night. The body was at the bottom of the cliff. This is a popular suicide spot. Cause of death seems to be a blow to the head but hard to tell if it was from the fall or not. There are some drag marks near the edge that the pathologist thinks might be her trying to hold on and not go over or someone dragging her to push her over. The daughter said her mother had gone on a date with a man she had met online. Second date it seems. The daughter had never met him but his name was William Wallace but we can't find any trace of him and the photo on his profile page is the same as that bloke you were chasing in York. That's why I called you."

"William Wallace," Barbara said thoughtfully, "where have I heard that name before?" She reluctantly shrugged off his hand thinking it had been there too long for decency.

"Hopefully in your history class!" Tommy snapped. Barbara looked at him with that expression of hers that told him she was unsure why he was angry. He did not have a rational explanation. He knew his hand was out of place but he was trying to tell her how he felt about her and she had rejected him. "Leader of the Scottish rebellion against Edward the First. Hung, drawn and quartered in 1305!"

Barbara could tell he was still upset by the comment about his likeness. She did not understand why, it had simply been a bit of fun. She had hoped it would lighten the tension between them. Things had been weird since the photograph incident and now he was in one of his moods. The possessive thing with his hand was just his way of trying to wrest back control. She would have to ride it out as she always did but she could not feel angry with him no matter how much she wanted to shout at him. "Right, so it is unlikely to be him then."

Her comment stopped Tommy in his tracks. He turned to stare at her and found she was smiling at him. He knew he was being arrogant and insufferable but he could not help it. All he wanted to do right now was hold her close and kiss her. Then perhaps they could go back to her bath and play Cleopatra and Mark Antony...or he could be the asp. He shook his head to clear those images and grinned at her. He could not really be angry. "Indeed," he replied.

She was trying to be professional. A woman had died and they needed to find her murderer but right now Barbara could think of nothing but Tommy. He was looking at her with that same hunger she had seen earlier but she did not trust herself to know that was really what he was thinking. Blood rushed to her face and a pleasant wave of desire washed over her. If only he knew what some of her fantasies entailed he would be horrified but she was sure if they ever happened he would be delighted. Her mind started to form a new one about a shared bathtub and she had to take a deep breath to hold focus.

They were staring at each other in a strange way. It was not her fault that she did not feel the way he did but her flushed face and the way she was looking at him was consistent with her behaviour in his lounge but at odds with what had happened at the hotel. He was confused and uncertain but he wished Winston would go and leave them alone. The longer the day wore on the more he ached to feel her touch him and he doubted he could restrain himself much longer. Not that he would ever do anything unwelcome but he would at least like to talk to her.

Tommy did not hear Winston speaking to him. "Sir? Do you think that will help?"

Winston turned to Barbara. "I don't think the DI was listening."

"Sorry Winston," she answered, "what did you say?"

Nkata threw his hands up in frustration. "What's with it with you two tonight? I said perhaps I can find him through his i.p. address tomorrow. I'll go to the dating agency and see if they have it on record."

Lynley managed to tear his eyes away from his sergeant. "Good idea Winston. Sorry I think Barbara and I are just overtired and finding it hard to concentrate. Head back to London and we'll talk tomorrow."

"Right. I'll leave you two at it then," Winston said and two heads spun around to stare at him. Winston was no fool and he could see what was happening between them even if they had no clue. _About bloody time. One of you just has to say something!_


	3. Chapter 3

It seems people like this one - although the commentators are the usual crew. Anyway I was convinced to expand this into another chapter…..soon. I hope you enjoy this as the pace picks up a little. Oh and if you pick up on the reference, leave it in your comment ;-D

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><p>Tommy woke with a start. He had slept only fitfully and his watch seemed stuck around six o'clock. It had been ten minutes to the hour last time he looked and now it was only five minutes past. He climbed into his shower and let the cool water run over his head. The friction between them was driving him insane. He would have to talk to Barbara today; no excuses, no prevarication, just an honest declaration of how he felt. Even if she laughed at him at least he would have said it and then he could pick up the pieces of his shattered heart and get on with life. Tommy slammed his fist into the wall and the pain shot up his arm. <em>Stop being stop melodramatic! Do you really believe she feels nothing? <em>

He and Barbara had returned to the hotel in silence and neither had been interested in dinner. As they walked up the stairs Barbara had tripped and fallen against him. His arm had been around her in a flash and their cheeks had brushed as he picked her up. When they stood they were both as red as beetroots and could not look at each other. Normally if something like that happened they would simply laugh but with the events in his lounge, everything had changed.

At her door he had paused hoping she might invite him in but she had simply smiled and thanked him for an 'interesting day'. He was tempted to kiss her but he did not want their first kiss to be in the corridor of a hotel. He waited too long and she said goodnight and closed the door leaving him alone. He had gone to bed frustrated and confused with the feel of her skin still burning on his face.

Barbara had dallied at her door as long as she dared hoping that Tommy might ask to come in and talk. He had been unusually awkward but she was not sure what he wanted to say. She feared it would be 'sorry Barbara but I think you have misunderstood'. She could not bear that thought after the promise of the day and so in the absence of any positive signs she had wished him a good night. She made a bargain with herself that she would indulge her unspoken desires tonight but wake up in the morning with a clear head and clean mind. She needed to stop thinking about him as anything more than her friend and partner but not yet, not tonight.

The bath had been relaxing. She had not had one in years and there was a mystical quality to it, made more special by knowing Tommy had organised it. As she ran the slippery soap over her fair skin she wondered if he might be sitting in his room thinking about what she was doing. The prospect of him daydreaming about her excited her in ways she did not even like to admit. She lay back with her eyes closed and sank into the steamy water up to her neck. She sighed heavily as she ran through again and again everything that had happened; every look and every touch. She wanted to believe he loved her as she loved him but she knew he could never feel that way about someone like her. Even lust would do. She valued what they had too much to ruin it with some foolish night of passion but if they did what a night it would be! Her experience was limited and her ideas about how she would make love to Tommy came largely from reading but that did not make her yearning to run her hands over his body any less real. She closed her eyes and saw his body from the photograph. He was hot, that was a given, and it did not matter if he would like the word or not! Oh how she would have liked to see him like that! She sighed again and ran her hands over her body imagining they were Tommy's.

As he lay naked between the sheets he wanted to feel her beside him. He had tried to sleep but images of her lying in the bath wafted through his head just as he was on the verge of slumber. They were arousing and disturbing. Should he really think about Barbara like that? Twice he had thrown on his jeans and approached her door. He had waited, summoning up the courage to knock. The first time the light had been on and he could hear her splashing about in the tub. He smiled but the thought was too overwhelming and he retreated to his room knowing that if she answered he would not be able to stop at talking to her. The second time had been after midnight and there had been no light in her room. He had knocked softly twice but she did not answer. A rotund woman in her sixties sauntered up the hall. Her stale, fiery breath from too much gin advanced in front of her ill-fitting red dress and her eyes darted across his naked torso. She licked her lips and that was enough; Tommy fled back to his room and the sanctuary of his bed where he buried his head under his pillow in the vain attempt to get Barbara out of his head. _How did so much change in one day? And why couldn't I say anything?_

Havers had been unable to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes he was there, bare-chested in front of the tent. In her mind he was smiling at her. She wanted to reach out and touch him and for her hands to evoke the same feeling she had experienced on the cliff. She wanted her lips to excite him. She wanted her...Two soft raps on her door brought her out of her reveries. She straightened her pyjamas and went to the door knowing it would be him. Nerves and excitement surged through her in equal measure and she knew she was shaking. She paused then swung open the door to find no one there. Crestfallen she looked in the corridor. At the end was a fat old lady in a tight red dress who turned and waved. Barbara shut the door and tumbled back into bed trying hard to stifle the tears that were forming. _You're a fool Barbara! _

Breakfast was a quick coffee and a nervous glance at each other before they were out the door and into his car with a local sergeant, Bob Smithers. Talking would have to wait but somehow in the daylight it seemed less urgent that she discuss yesterday with him. _Maybe it will go away and we can just pretend nothing happened. _Winston had a lead on a likely location for William Wallace and they rushed to the address to find he had moved out three days before. Wallace had cleaned out over a hundred thousand pounds from Hannon's account and they were desperate to find him before he murdered anyone else. Tommy ran his hand through his hair in frustration and Barbara fought to control the thoughts it conjured. _Not again! Clean mind, pure thoughts! _

At Eastbourne Police Station they painstakingly trawled through mug shots of criminals looking for a match to the photo they had secured from York. It was a futile and boring exercise and Tommy was looking for an excuse to get Barbara alone. The tension between them was palpable and they needed to sort things out before it affected their working relationship as well. The trouble was he had no idea what to say that would not sound trite or conceited. Finally at lunchtime they had some privacy. "Barbara, about yesterday," he started," I think we should talk."

"Yeah, I know. It's just that…"

Tommy's phone rang. It was Winston so he put up his hand to stop Barbara and slid his thumb across the screen to answer. Five minutes later they were deep in conversation with Smithers. There was a gala fund-raising event to be held that evening at the Eastbourne Bandstand and it was likely that Wallace would be scouting it for his next victim.

"No!" Barbara protested when Smithers made his suggestion, "I don't want to dress up and be bait."

"I'll be there too, in the crowd, we only need him to make contact then we can arrest him. You won't even need to leave the area." Tommy's point made sense to her but she did not want to dress up and pretend to be the lonely, unloved woman that she was already. The last few days had been unsettling enough without having that rubbed in her face.

Smithers was an old-style policeman who had no trouble asserting his opinions. "You're not too bad a looker and if he thinks you've got money you might interest him, especially if you go all out with the right clothes and some make-up. You look like you're gawky and vulnerable around men; that should reel him in."

Barbara shot him a look that would have melted a glacier but it was Tommy who answered first. "Sergeant Havers is NOT 'gawky and vulnerable around men' and she is exceedingly attractive. I think it's a good idea but if she is not comfortable she doesn't have to do it." Smithers raised his eyebrows and smirked. Barbara knew he was thinking that the poncy DI was getting his end away with his sergeant or some other equally crass phrase.

Lynley was looking directly at her and she could see he had been sincere. She liked his protectiveness. Once it had seemed suffocating but now it was just a part of their relationship and she knew she would defend him with the same vigour. Her face had flushed though when he had said 'exceedingly attractive' and she had seen that was equally as genuine. "Alright, I'll do it but I'll need something to wear."

"The theme is 'Black and Gold' so something long and black. There's a store in town that will have something. I can send you down there with one of the WPC's if you like," Smithers offered.

Lynley and Havers both winced at the anachronism. The prefix of 'women' had been gone since the end of the last century. Barbara could see that Tommy was about to lecture Smithers about his chauvinism but she frowned at him. There was no point with people like that. "Thanks, that'd be good."

Barbara did not see Tommy again until they were back at the hotel and he knocked on her door to check details for the evening. He had a suit bag over his arm and a flustered look on his face. "I had to buy a suit. I couldn't get mine down from London in time. Did you find a dress?"

"Yeah, it's pretty simple but I think it might do the trick. I think Smithers will approve." Barbara did not care what the odious old sergeant thought but she was hoping Tommy would like it. It was not what she would normally have chosen but with the mood of yesterday she had seen it and decided to test out his feelings once and for all. He was probably only attracted to her because of the way she had responded to his photo. Men and their egos. She would settle for that or lust or any other excuse. One night of feeling his body wrapped around hers would suffice. It would give her memories instead of fantasies that would sustain her over the years. _Then we can go back to being friends._

"To hell with Smithers!" Tommy replied vehemently, "as long as we can find Wallace then I'll be happy." It was a lie. Lynley wanted to catch Wallace but he also wanted to see Barbara in her dress. He knew it would be modest and simple like the one she had worn to his party but he had thought about almost nothing else all day. He hoped that Wallace would not be there so that he would be able to dance with her and hold her close. Maybe then he would be able to kiss her. He wanted to do that now but he knew where that would lead, or he hoped he did, and they still had a murderer to apprehend.

"Sir?"

"Oh sorry, what? My mind was elsewhere."

"I said it would take me about half an hour to get ready."

"That's not very long," he replied absent-mindedly forgetting that Havers was not a typical woman.

"Long enough," she replied tartly, "I'm not…"

"Cleopatra, yes I know," he said interrupting her.

She smiled at him and they laughed. It was the first time since yesterday that they had been relaxed enough with each other to share a joke. "Remind me to tell you about my bath sometime," she said huskily as she turned and went into her room closing the door in his face. Tommy groaned and hurried to his room. A cold shower was very much in order.

Thirty minutes later Tommy stood nervously at her door. He straightened his tie and shrugged his shoulders so that his coat sat evenly. He coughed softly to clear his throat then knocked firmly on the grey painted door.

"Hang on." Barbara was struggling to reach behind her and pull up her zipper. She had hopped around trying to grab the metal end but it eluded her. She had not thought this through when she had purchased the dress as the constable she had taken with her had done it up. Barbara enjoyed the way the dress looked on her and the confidence it gave her. The practicalities of wearing it had been happily ignored. Now she had no choice, Tommy would have to help her.

She opened the door and stopped dead. It was Tommy but she barely recognised him. She started at his feet and ran her eyes up his body admiring his perfectly shined shoes and his jet black suit that seemed cut to emphasise his narrow waist and broad shoulders. It was expensive looking fine wool; it's shade matching exactly with his ebony fine cotton shirt. His tie was of medium width, in line with modern fashion, in a brilliant yellow-gold silk that seemed to swirl in the light. His hair was slicked back in a way that exuded a devilish, bad boy aura. This was not a man to upset. His face bore the usual friendly grin but the black frame gave it a seductive edge. Barbara felt the colour rise across her throat and into her ears but this time it was not embarrassment. If he had dressed to thrill he had succeeded!

Barbara may have been enthralled by the sight of him but Tommy was mesmerised by her. What he had expected to see was nothing like the vision in front of him. He remembered the shy and awkward Barbara who was uncomfortable in a modest black dress and black stockings that had given her the vague appearance of a reluctant nun. Now a year of cold showers would do nothing to quell his yearning for her. Never in his life had he been so completely captivated by a woman. He had never been short of pretty women on his arm but standing before him now Barbara had a confidence and sexiness that beguiled him and awakened a rapacious hunger. He swallowed hard and understood exactly what her expression had meant when she had looked at his photo. He only wished he still hard that lean, chiselled body to satisfy her desires.

"Oh Barbara, gold suits you. You look divine." He could scarcely breathe, let alone speak. The bronzed gold silky gown clung to her body and draped softly to the floor. Narrow straps over her shoulder plunged into a sweeping v-line that ended with a delicate bow just below her breasts which were clearly untamed but beautifully rounded. This was not a dress that left much to his imagination. He was torn between wanting to stare at her in it and wanting to slide it off her shoulders and let it fall to the floor.

She smiled and her face lit up in way that drew his attention to her eyes. He could not recall her wearing makeup before but now her eyes were framed by a subtle black rim that made the green more vivid, like the deep new leaves on a tree in spring. Her lips glowed in brilliant red that highlighted their fullness. They looked soft and inviting and he longed to kiss them. She was looking him up and down and when she unconsciously ran her tongue over them and bit her lip it took all of his self-control to not pick her up and throw her on the bed. He was shocked at his reaction. He loved her for everything else she was but this new erotic persona added a wonderful new dimension to it. Her dangling gold earrings caught the light and drew his eyes to her long smooth neck. He could almost taste her skin as imagined running his tongue down onto the sensitive junction of her neck and shoulder. He dragged his eyes away. _Stop it! You have a murderer to catch._

"Would you mind zipping me up?" She turned and he saw that the dress had the same plunging v at the back. The dress was undone and as he leant over he could see the expanse of her flawless back. He stepped in close and pulled the zipper up slowly, gently brushing her skin with his fingers and allowing his hips to nestle against the small of her back. He felt her shiver and smiled. He did not know if she loved him but he could tell she wanted him. But that was not enough. He did not want this to be meaningless, libido-fuelled sex between two lonely friends. There were always women after a night of fun and satisfaction but he wanted to make love to her and have her love him. He wanted her to stay with him forever. He had never thought about how that would work but seeing her standing in that dress he knew she would be a superb Lady Asherton and the thought was strangely freeing. He finished the zipper and placed his hands softly on her shoulders. They stood motionless.

The dress had had the affect she had hoped. Tommy had looked at her the same way she had stared at his photograph. _If this doesn't give him the hint I'm not sure what will! _Unfortunately Tommy was quick to react to an attractive woman but to actually be that woman gave her a sense of power that inflamed her desire. She felt wanton and sexy and she enjoyed it. She wanted to stay like this forever with his hands on her skin and his breath on her neck but that would not catch Wallace. Maybe when this case was over they could take a few days off and go somewhere with a large bathtub and get this out if their systems.

She moved forward out of his grip and picked up her shoes. "I'm not very good with heels," she said honestly. She stumbled as she tried to put them on and instantly Havers was back and Tommy grinned fondly at her.

"Let me." He moved across and took them from her hand. She sat on the edge of the bed and she knelt down on one knee and slipped them first onto the left foot and then onto the right. He watched her as he ran his hand unhurriedly up her calf and was rewarded with a look that told him she would enjoy more of his touch. "I think we had better go or Smithers will be worried."

He stood and helped her to her feet. Her gait was a little uncertain but as she took a few steps her poise increased. Tommy offered her his arm. "You won't fall Barbara. I'll keep you safe."


	4. Chapter 4

This chapter is dedicated to Tess 4 5 whose mischievous comments and PMs are responsible for Any frustration you feel waiting for ...

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><p>Tommy asked the cabbie to stop a few hundred yards short of the bandstand entrance on King Edward's Parade. His eyes had barely left her during the ten minute ride from their hotel which had made it hard for Barbara to concentrate on his instructions. <em>Focus on his words not his face!<em> The plan was simple. She would go inside and wander around hoping that Wallace would spot her. She was supposed to be a little socially inept and unsure of herself to give the impression of vulnerability. She needed to talk and mix just enough to not look like a copper on the beat but not too much. She still had to scream 'target'. With a quick reassurance that Winston and Smithers would be watching her every move he disappeared into the crowd.

The bandstand was a unique venue. At night the place shone as the light reflected off the gleaming cream tiles that lined the inside of the complex. It was on the promenade but was cordoned off from the ocean; its semi-circular dais enclosed by huge, elegantly designed mahogany and glass sliding screens to provide protection from any wind. The evening air was cool but there was only a wispy breeze from the south which was broken by the high-domed roof capped with large, glazed tiles in a blue that mimicked the sea. The same tiles lined the edges of the stage. It was very art deco, as could be expected from a 1930's building, but the blue roof with its two layers of tiles and squat stainless steel spire reminded Havers of a space ship from one of those children's programme she had watched as a child. Only now it was her that was the alien. Without Tommy beside her the dress no longer made her feel sexy. Instead she felt exposed and hoped that it was tight enough not to reveal anything as she moved. She meandered through the growing throng of happy partygoers watching the joy on the faces of the couples. It made her feel very alone. She was not of course. She knew he was watching; she could feel his eyes on her. The thought of him as her silent voyeur added to the sense of danger radiated by his dark clothes and slicked hair. She had never seen him like that but it was alluring. Her pulse quickened and her mind and body reacted just as if he had touched her. She quickly swept the crowd but he remained tantalisingly hidden.

Tonight the stage was open to the three tiers of the viewing platform that enclosed it. Normally they would be filled with deck chairs for the many concerts held here but tonight the space was crowded with a moving kaleidoscope of black and gold. Behind the tiled Doric columns that disguised the bar Tommy stood in the shadows and observed Barbara as she wandered in front of the stage. She was beautiful and yet looked vulnerable. It was the perfect combination to attract Wallace but he knew she was not acting. He wondered if the murderer was here and who would spot him first. Smithers was on the next level up and Winston was positioned near the exit on the third tier, the same level as the road.

He tried to focus on the scanning the crowd but he was drawn only to Barbara who was standing gazing wistfully up at the band. The large band was elegantly dressed in back with gold ties and cummerbunds for the men and delicate gold sashes for the ladies. It was playing orchestral versions of some classics. It was fitting for the occasion but Tommy felt trapped inside a giant easy-listening prison where he was able to see but not touch the object of the songs that in his mind were playing just for her.

Until tonight he had not known her body was so magnificently proportioned. Never before had she been confident enough to dress like that, always hiding beneath oversized coats and terrible haircuts. She had never been able to hide her eyes and when he had fallen in love with the dowdy Havers whose spirit lifted him to heights he had never before known, it had been her eyes that had told him everything. They had also been her last layer of defence. Yesterday when he had seen her look at him in his lounge those defences were down and he had known his future lay in her arms. He rued not telling her he loved her then but he had not wanted to spoil that moment of tension and unspoken desire. Then he had started to doubt and rationalise every look and had made a complete mess of it. _Why isn't love ever simple? _When she opened the door tonight though he had known she had dressed this way for him. She wanted him to look at her. She wanted to arouse his body as well as his mind. He wondered if she knew just how much she had affected him.

The evening dragged for both of them. Barbara tried to focus on the job and spoke with quite a few people but none of them were Wallace. She moved around all the tiers and once or twice noticed Tommy discreetly tailing her. Each time she spotted him her heart raced. She wanted to be with him and to run her hands through his hair as she kissed him. In the room as he put on her shoes and ran his hands over her leg she had given up any pretence that she was not completely under his spell. She had been for years but now she could not hide it from him. He knew and if he wanted her she would sleep with him tonight. She had waited ten years for him to notice her as a woman and whether it was one hour, one night or one lifetime she was going to make it count.

He leant casually against a column and examined every inch of her wishing he could run his hands and lips along her arms and up her legs. His thoughts were unapologetically carnal and he revelled in them. He would feel shallow and unworthy if underneath his almost excruciating desire there was not a very deep love for this wonderful woman who had metamorphosed from caterpillar to butterfly just for him.

"Well hello! Aren't you exquisite, standing here all by yourself." Suddenly there was a woman with long flowing fake-blonde hair and a plastic champagne flute in her hand pulling at his tie. Her short black dress was so tight it looked painted on and her overwhelming, cheap perfume smelt like dead geraniums. "Why is someone like you alone and looking like they need a good…" She licked her lips. "Woman."

Tommy was aghast and jumped back knocking his elbow painfully against the pillar. The woman was clearly very drunk and the way she wobbled her breasts at him made Tommy feel ill. She obviously thought it would attract him but he felt oddly violated. He hit her hand away from his tie. "I have a good woman thank you. One I love very much."

"Then why are you standing here all alone sweetie?"

"That's a very good question," he said as he started to push past the blonde.

"Leave him." Tommy heard her friend say. "If he doesn't want you he is probably gay!"

Around eleven o'clock she wandered back to the area in front of the stage where groups of mildly intoxicated couples were trying to dance. There was a female vocalist on stage with them now singing love songs. She stood watching, feeling lonely and sentimental, when suddenly a hand was in her back propelling her authoritatively towards the dance floor. At first she thought it was Wallace but then as he spun her around into his arms she was relieved to see it was Tommy. His smile made her heart thump and her knees weaken.

"I thought this was suitable cover to talk," he said as his left hand enclosed her right and his other arm encircled her waist and pulled her close to him. Her whole body came alive and where they touched her nerves tingled with anticipation.

"I can't dance you know," she said panicked that she might trip him up.

"It doesn't matter; it's only an excuse." Tommy had said it as if he meant an excuse to talk but he hoped she knew it was an excuse to touch her. His desire had become unbearable and he needed to feel her pressed against him. She was soft and warm and the silk of her gown slid over her skin enticingly as he ran his hand down her back to settle in the curve above her hips. He was not holding her in any manner that was not consistent with dancing but the way he touched her was intimate and he hoped would signal his intentions.

"I haven't seen Wallace," she said as she put her hand tentatively on his back, uncertain whether he was just dancing or sending her a message.

"No, I don't think he's here." He still held her hand and instead of extending it to dance he placed it on his chest and pulled her closer so that most of her body was touching him. She glanced around quickly to see other couples entwined in similar ways. The band started to play a new tune. She recognised it as an up-tempo dance tune but the slower beat of this arrangement matched perfectly with the rhythm of their bodies.

_*I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me,  
><em>_I still feel your touch in my dream._

His jacket was open and whether by accident or design she was pushed against his shirt. She could feel the comforting warm of his body seeping through the fabric of her dress.

_Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why  
>Without you it's hard to survive.<em>

As they swayed together in an imitation of dance they were rubbing against each other in ways that she did not think people could do in public. The racing of his heart and the pressure of his groin against her hip answered her question; this was not dancing, it was the first step in making love. Electric shocks ran to her core in response. She tried hard not to show how being so close to him was affecting her but he would be a fool not feel it.

_'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling.  
>And every time we kiss, I swear I could fly.<br>Can't you feel my heart beat fast? I want this to last.  
>Need you by my side.<em>

Tommy had waited long enough and leant down closer to her face. He did need her; the song could not have been more accurate. Her hair brushed his face and his hand moved lower on her back. He tilted his head towards her and softly kissed her cheek. She moaned and taking his cue he ran a line of slow and tender kisses towards her ear.

_'Cause every time we touch, I feel the static.  
>And every time we kiss, I reach for the sky.<br>Can't you hear my heart beat so..._

She tried to pull away but he held her tight. "Sir, what will Smithers and Winston think?"

_I can't let you go.  
>Want you in my life.<em>

"I send Smithers back to the station and Winston is probably cheering. I think we drove him quite mad yesterday."He resumed his kisses down the length of her neck. She tasted as sweet as he had imagined and the words to the song coincided flawlessly with his thoughts as he nuzzled her neck and ran his lips along her shoulder making her shudder and dig her nails into his back. All day Tommy had thought about how he would make love to her but none of his fantasies had done justice to the way he felt now.

_Your arms are my castle; your heart is my sky.  
>They wipe away tears that I cry.<br>The good and the bad times, we've been through them all.  
>You make me rise when I fall.<br>_

"Sir." She sounded scared and he softened his grip and stood up to look at her.

"What Barbara? I'm sorry. I thought we _both_ wanted this." Tommy was confused. _How could I have misread her so badly?_

_'Cause every time we touch, I get this feeling._

"I'm sorry to interrupt Sir but they've found Wallace." Tommy groaned loudly and turned around to stare at Winston who was shuffling his feet and looking anywhere but at them. _Poor Winston!_

"Right," Tommy said, "we were just…"

"Trying to blend in," Barbara interjected. She looked at Winston and knew he understood exactly what was happening. _Oh, poor Winston!_

Tommy wanted to sound professional and unfazed so instantly adopted his most pompous bearing that he used to disguise his inadequacies. "Where exactly?" he asked seemingly unaware that he was still holding Barbara tightly to him.

"He's dead. Been hit by a car driven by a woman we think was his next target."

Lynley and Havers looked at each other and broke their embrace. They had instantly ceased to be potential lovers and were back into their professional stride. Winston drove them to Beachy Head where a woman wrapped in a police blanket was being consoled by two constables. The wind was much stronger up on the cliff and Barbara hugged her arms to ward off the cold. Tommy stripped off his tie and folded it neatly before he placed it in a pocket of his jacket which he removed and placed over Barbara's shoulders. She smiled gratefully at him and slipped her arms into the sleeves. Instantly his scent drifted up to her and she smiled. It was too big but it made her feel closer to him.

The body was bloodied but still identifiable and they were both relieved it was indeed the man they knew as Wallace. It was over an hour before they were back at the station and another two by the time they had completed interviews and prepared preliminary statements.

"I think we can go now Barbara," he said just after three o'clock, "we can finish the rest tomorrow. It's been quite a night." Tommy was tired and regretted that the moment between them seemed to have passed.

The three police arrived at the hotel to find it locked. Tommy found the night bell and eventually the porter arrived to open the door. His striped pyjama legs and bare feet stuck out beneath his red woollen dressing gown and Barbara could not help but laugh. This was not the night she had planned when she had bought this gown.

There were no rooms for Winston and so much to Nkata's horror it was agreed he could share with Lynley. Tommy was still huddled in the corner talking to the porter and Barbara could swear she had seen him pass him money.

"Can't I share with you Barbara?" Winston asked, "Or maybe the DI could share with you?" He nudged her in the ribs and she stared him into silence.

Tommy came back and they headed up stairs. "Did you bribe the porter?" she asked.

"No. I gave him a financial reward for his services. We did get him out of bed at three in the morning!"

Tommy tossed Winston the key. "Next door, room 203. Barbara needs me to unzip her dress." It was direct and firm and everyone understood Winston had been dismissed.

Barbara's hands shook as she opened the door unsure if his ambiguous statement was a euphemism or not. She flicked on the lights and moved into the room. Tommy followed and closed the door quietly. There were two light switches, one for the lights above the desk and near the door and another for the lights near the bed. Tommy flicked off the second set leaving only a diffuse glow in the room. "It's too late for too much light," he said. She was not sure what was going to happen but she was starting to remember how she felt when they had been interrupted. She still wanted him and sensed he wanted her.

Barbara undid his coat and allowed it to slide off her arms. "Thanks for this," she said as she handed it to Tommy. He took it and threw it over the chair by the desk.

"Your feet must be killing you by now. Let me help you with your shoes."

Barbara sat nervously on the edge of the bed as Tommy bent down and slid them off her feet without touching her. She flexed her toes and was mildly disappointed that he had not run his fingers over her ankle or calf. Suddenly his hands engulfed her left foot and he started to rub the sole with his thumbs in long firm strokes that ran from the base of her instep up to her toes as his fingers gently caressed the sensitive skin on the top of her foot. He massaged her toes in small circular lines with his nail. No one had ever touched her like that before and she did not know where to look. As he moved to the other foot he said, "The Chinese believe that each part of the foot is directly connected to a vital organ. The big toe is the brain; this part is the lungs and heart, and this part I think you might like."

Tommy pulled her feet together and rubbed his thumb backwards and forwards over the area near the base of her heel. He increased the pressure then pushed on the spot and released, pushed and released. "Oh Sir," she murmured, "the Chinese were right." She simply fell back on the bed and savoured the sensations. Her heart was pounding and her muscles had tensed. Her body was responding to him with urgency. Even though he had not touched anywhere but her feet her nipples had hardened to the point of pain. Blood had rushed to her groin and she could feel the arteries pulsating. As soft, involuntary contractions caught her by surprise she wondered if it was possible to climax only by having your feet massaged.

"Not yet," he said roguishly seemingly understanding what was happening in her body. He stood and pulled her to her feet. He had not expected such a strong reaction but it excited him. He would need to pace his seduction, for both their sakes. "Was that nice?"

His grin was wicked but playful and Barbara simply groaned. None of her reading or fantasies had prepared her for what was happening now. Tommy still had hold of her hands and he started to kiss the inside of her left wrist then moved slowly up the inside of her arm. At her elbow he moved to the outside of her arm and began to trace a line to her shoulder with his tongue. Barbara did not know what to do except to put her other hand on his hip. She felt him smile against her skin. Somehow he managed to move around until he was behind her. Her hand fell away and she was standing with both arms draped by her side. She tried to move back against him but his right hand gently closed around her right wrist and held her arm straight keeping her body teasingly away from his own.

Tommy stopped kissing her and whispered, "You're good enough to eat Havers." His mouth opened and on the point of her shoulder he gently bit her. Her groan told him she liked what he was doing. He brought his left arm around her waist and pulled her back towards him as he ran his tongue along the line of her collarbone.

"Oh Sir!"

"Tommy," he sighed, "you have to call me Tommy."

"I don't think I can,' she said breathlessly.

"I won't kiss you properly until you do. Do you want me to continue doing this all night?" He nuzzled the nape of her neck and she quivered with delight.

"Yes! Oh God yes."

He laughed. "I'm enjoying it too Barbara but I have other plans."

"Okay, you win! Tommy." It was hard to do but it felt good on her lips.

He spun her around. He was grinning at her in his special way and the lock of hair had fallen carelessly across his eye. He was simply adorable. Hot, adorable and hers!

"Say it again Barbara."

"Tommy. Tommy, Tommy, Tommy!" The last one was almost shouted.

He smiled and started to lean towards her. She quickly licked her lips anticipating the kiss. "I love you Barbara."

She could not help but grin but she did not have time to reply. Just before his lips reached hers there was a loud, firm knock on the door. Barbara swore which made Tommy laugh. She was far from amused. "What the hell is it now?"

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong> Did you really think I would put you out of your misery today Tess?

*'Every Time We Touch' by Cascada. I am thinking of the slow version that was released as a re-mix, not the original techno dance version.


	5. Chapter 5

Tommy was still smiling at her reaction when he opened the door. It was unfortunate timing but any later and it would have been much worse. The porter was standing there with the ice bucket, two glasses and the magnum of Bollinger that Tommy had arranged earlier. "Thank you Michael."

Barbara came up behind him. "You did bribe him!"

"No, I paid a three a.m. price for a service that I wanted," he replied in his best Lord Asherton tone. He threw the cloth onto the bed and he put the bucket on the desk, nestling the champagne into the ice. He turned and grinned at her. "That's for later. Now where were we?"

Barbara lowered her eyes and looked up at him shyly. The desire in his dark eyes burned into her and thrilled her. Barbara recalled the touch of his hands and the way it had made her feel. She wanted him kiss her. She wanted to feel his arms around her and she wanted him to worship her, to make love to her in the way she knew only he could. "I think you were about to kiss me."

"Ah, yes. I think I was." Tommy moved towards her and embraced her. "I think I might also have mentioned that I love you."

Barbara was suddenly scared. He had said it so easily; too easily. It was if it was just part of a sexual ritual. "You don't have to Sir."

"Tommy remember."

"Tommy." Her voice was low and faint.

He leant down to kiss her and she moved back out of his reach. The mood had been broken by the interruption and the confident, sexy Barbara had reverted to the more familiar insecure Havers. He needed to take things slowly and re-establish the atmosphere of earlier but first he had to convince her that this was real. She had seen him in love and lust too often and he knew why she doubted him. It might have been too early to use the word but in many ways it was far too late. She affected him in ways no one else could move him. He could trust her with anything and his love for her was far more complex and meaningful than any other.

He took her in his arms and hugged her lovingly. "I know I don't _have _to say it. I _want_ to say it because it is true. It's been true for a long time but it had been beyond physical. It was only after seeing your reaction yesterday that I realised it could be both, because the two of us feel the same way. Don't we?"

"Yes, but how can I be sure?" Her arms circled around him and her cheek was pressed to his chest like a child never wanting to leave the protective embrace of their parents.

"Remember the photos on my table?" Barbara nodded. "That's how you can be sure."

She sighed. "I'm not used to happiness. It makes me afraid."

"But I'm here for you and you're here for me. We don't have to be scared or lonely or unhappy ever again." Tommy kissed the top of her head and her whole world became brighter. "Now are you going to kiss me or not?"

His heart pounded against his ribs as if it were trying to escape. In the silence he could not only feel it, he could hear it. Her breathing was heavy but shallow. She angled her face towards him and tilted it slightly. The sight of her neck was so tempting but this was the time. If he did not kiss her now he never would. He kissed her forehead as his hand cupped her face. "This is something I should have done yesterday." His lips met hers with a gentle, light touch; a long, spiritual and devoted kiss that told her he would love her for the rest of time.

"I do love you." Barbara looked up at him; her deep green eyes told him how much she cared for him.

"I know. It's in your eyes," he said, his voice jagged with emotion. No one had ever looked at him like that and it moved Tommy almost to tears. _How did I miss this all those years?_ Tommy ran the tips of his fingers up her arms leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake before he kissed her again. They were still standing near the desk and he slowly led her back towards the bed. Her soft lips lingered on his uncertainly. Tommy did not want to rush her. He kissed her gently and affectionately at first but then far baser instincts began to take over. Gradually their lips began to dance with increasing pace. Their kisses became urgent and forceful. Their lips quickly parted and their tongues fought to explore each other's mouths. They had no rhythm to their breathing and they soon pulled apart panting.

"Sorry," he said leaning his forehead on hers, "in my mind it was going to be tender and loving and a lot less lustful."

"Lust is fine." Her hand disappeared into his hair and she pulled him down and kissed him again. Right now she was his and he was hers. Ten years of repressed desire surfaced and she was powerless to stop. His smell, his taste, the sound of him breathing and memories of looks, of times he had touched her all crowded in on her mind, and her body reacted to them. Barbara tugged at his shirt and ran her hands across his stomach. It was soft, not like the toned version in the photograph but that did not matter. It was Tommy, as she knew him, and to her his body was still hot. She smiled and kissed him harder when he tightened the muscles so that he appeared more toned. She knew he was thinking about her looking at the photo and she was thinking about him standing there watching. Her nimble fingers quickly undid his buttons so that she could access more of him.

Tommy had expected the night would progress as it started, that he would slowly make love to Barbara. He had thought about what he would do and how much she would enjoy it. He had not stopped to think she would also make love to him. Most women he had known were passive and waited for his lead. How like Barbara to turn the tables. He thought briefly about slowing down but the hands pulling at his shirt told him he needed to keep up. His lazy caresses on her back became firmer. Her back was smooth yet velvety and he wanted to kiss it, to feel the texture of her skin on his lips. He shivered and kissed her harder.

As they broke to control their breathing she moved her face close to his bare torso and inhaled his scent. It was earthy and strong and she wanted more of it. She ran the tip of her nose in circular patterns over his chest. It looked hairless but as she has seen when he had shamelessly showered in front of her it was covered in a fine down that tickled her face delightfully. She traced her tongue around his nipples and sucked them, pleased that it caused him to coo. She moved down his body and on impulse blew a raspberry over his belly button. He jumped and she laughed. She stood up. His shirt had vanished so she scratched her nails down his back, just hard enough to make him wince. "Oh Barbara."

He kissed her again, his tongue forcing hers back as he tried to wrest back momentum. He wanted her to know he was making love to her. Tommy had his hands on her side and he turned her so that they were facing the mirror above the desk. He wanted to watch her face but the sight of her back entranced him. He began to kiss her neck as he slid his hands across the silk dress and around to cup those magnificent breasts. His kisses moved slowly down her spine as he caressed her. Barbara arched her back and uttered short moans of encouragement. The silk warmed under his hands softening it and moulding it to the shape underneath. His fingers traced the outline of her nipples which were still too pliant so he slid his hands beneath the silk, grateful for the accommodating design of her gown. She shivered at the touch of his fingers all over them except for her errant peaks. He could feel the skin tighten and he knew before he finally touched them that he had succeeded. As his mouth reached the zipper he grabbed the tab between his teeth and edged it slowly down.

Barbara's eyes had been closed but as his fingers touched her skin so intimately they had flown open. She shivered when she saw her reflection. Her face radiated pleasure that was both embarrassing and erotic. The dress became looser and she stepped back to make it easier for him. Her stocking brushed his foot. _When did he take off his shoes and socks? _She was pre-occupied with that thought when he stood and eased the straps of her dress off her shoulders. She was still watching the mirror and now so was Tommy. Their eyes met in the reflection and they watched each other's expressions as he steadily peeled her dress down her body. It did not occur to her that she would be almost naked in front of him until it was too late. He had started to smile, that grin of his that said so much, but this time it was tinged with a new form of admiration. She stepped out of the dress and he kicked aside with his foot.

Tommy had not expected her to be so beautiful. She was flawless apart from the scar which he wanted to touch. He had seen her shot and it had destroyed him. The prospect of losing Barbara had been far greater than that of losing Helen. He loved Helen, or thought he did, but he needed Barbara to survive. _How was I to know feeling that was real _love_?_

She expected to feel horrified that he had seen her scar but strangely it did not matter. The scar was part of their history. The dress had made her feel sexy but when Tommy began to kiss her shoulder and moved his hands slowly down her front onto the scar she had never felt more loved or desired. He traced it with his fingertips in a way that re-assured her. "I'm so glad you didn't die that day," he whispered into her ear, "I couldn't have survived losing you."

She moved her face towards his and they started to kiss once again. It was painful and awkward so she moved around to face him. Her flesh seemed to burn as their chests touched and Barbara began to unbuckle his belt as she pushed him backwards against the wall. He took the hint and let his trousers and shorts fall to the floor. "I thought I might have done that," she said with more than a hint of disappointment.

Tommy spun her around and kissed her. He shuffled his feet out of his trousers then pressed himself up against her. He began to kiss her neck and trailed down to her breasts. Now it was his turn to nip and suck and elicit moans of pleasure. The more she wriggled the more he pinned her into the wall restricting her movement. He wanted to drive her wild and he no longer hesitated to let her feel how much he wanted her. He reached down hooked his fingers into her stockings. They were as fine as gossamer and tore in his hands. "Sorry."

"Don't worry." She did not care and when she felt him rip them off she enjoyed the sensation. It was almost animalistic and the carnality of it made her want him more urgently. _So you can be a bad boy after all! _

Tommy was shocked at himself. He was allowing his instinct to run ahead of his manners. He could quite easily have taken her there against the wall. The idea excited him far more than it should. Each kiss and every touch made him harder and now it was almost painful. He was not sure how much longer he could wait and yet they were so far from the end. He released her, slightly ashamed. He did not want their first time to be like that. He sat on the bed and pulled her in front of him. "Sorry,' he said as he kissed her breasts, "I got carried away."

Barbara straddled his legs and sat down. She smiled at his surprise as she manoeuvred herself against him. "It's alright Tommy. I think we might be doing this more than once," she murmured in his ear, "at least I hope so."

"For the rest of our lives." Tommy kissed her again, lovingly and tenderly. His arms rested on her back holding her shoulders so that he could control her movements. Too much of what she had started to do would end disastrously. Gradually he lowered her onto the bed and they lay kissing and stroking each other until he was confident he could satisfy her. He ran his hand over the silk of her panties. He had not noticed they were even still there. Slowly his hand crept underneath and Barbara started to move in cadence with his fingers. The space was restricting and he tried to slide them off and grunted in frustration. He looked at her and she nodded. He ripped them apart and threw the frayed cloth on the floor. It made him feel manly but he knew exactly who was in control.

She was so on edge that the barest touch of his hand started a reaction she was sure would be the most powerful sensation of her life. He was watching her carefully and his eyes were full of love. She smiled at his irritation as he tried to find the access he wanted. His slicked back hair had fallen back into his usual style but she liked having an edge of danger in this man who was normally so steady and safe. We willed him to rip off her underwear. Adrenaline raced through her when he tore them off. She wanted to feel him take control of her body and to pleasure her in a way that would also pleasure him. She kissed him and opened herself to him. He was skilled and seemed to sense exactly what she needed. Again and again he fingers slid over her. He built her up to the point where she thought she would explode into a galaxy of stars only to change his pattern and bring her back to Earth until she started to beg him.

One final time he glided his thumb back and forth. She was on the precipice; panting hard and moaning softly with her back arched when he entered her. It was too late to stop and she cried out loudly in shock and delight, the sensation almost too much to bear. He felt dangerously long and thick as he moved slowly inside her. She could feel the heat radiating from him as her muscles clamped around him. It had been unexpected but pleasurable beyond words. She lay exhausted and euphoric as he continued to move almost imperceptively. She watched the joy on his face and the love in his smoky eyes.

She ran her fingers down his back and dug her nails into the curve of his buttocks. He groaned appreciatively. Barbara started to move beneath him, pulling him into the spot that stimulated her. He wanted to let go, to experience the rhapsody he had seen on her face but he sensed she had not finished. He obliged her by matching her rhythm until he saw the same look he had seen a few minutes before. Her contractions pulled at him in the same sweet way as before, dragging him further and further into her. Tommy no longer tried to stop himself and gave in to wave after wave of orgasmic rapture.

They lay entwined, kissing and caressing each other. He traced the outline of her body lazily with his fingers. He glanced at his watch. "Is five o'clock too early for champagne?"

Barbara shook her head. Tommy got up from the bed and went to the bathroom. She heard him turn on the taps for the bath. He uncorked the champagne and brought a glass over to where was now sitting. He kissed her then handed her one. "Did I mention at all that I love you?"

"Once or twice Mr Dorchester."

"And did I ask you to marry me?"

"No."

"Ah good, then we still have something to discuss in our bath." Tommy kissed the shock from her face and led her to the bathroom. "Oh and it's Mr Rochester. One day I'll show you the movie."

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: <strong>Some astute Nat Parker fans may recognise some of this from one of his films although I did tend to compress several scenes into one. It was deliberate as it was part of my in joke for my friend(s). Comment if you get it! Well comment anyway please but mention it if you recognise it.


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